"YOU WANT FACE RIFT, WE GIVE FACE RIFT."
Wednesday, April 16, 2014
Monday, April 14, 2014
Sunday, April 13, 2014
Saturday, April 12, 2014
Tuesday, April 8, 2014
Sunday, April 6, 2014
Friday, April 4, 2014
Thursday, April 3, 2014
Wednesday, April 2, 2014
Ahoy Seniors, You could win a cruise on the Love Boat!
Check in with our cruise director, Ms. Peenee, at the receptionarium for your chance to enter and win a luxurious cruise featuring Nanette Fabray, Jim Neighbors, Brett Sommers and Captain Stubbing with special guest stars Kristy McNichol, Scott Baio, Pamela Sue Martin, Bert Convy and a performance by the one and only Charro.
Enter now and have your picture taken on the Libido Deck.
Monday, March 31, 2014
Sunday, March 30, 2014
Thursday, March 27, 2014
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
Monday, March 24, 2014
Saturday, March 22, 2014
Thursday, March 20, 2014
Meet Ptolemy Jherimanicus. He was a scribe in the Temple of Isis and a part-time cosmetologist. It's a little-known fact that that same chemicals that produced his luxurious curls were used in the process of mummification. Which explains a lot.
Wednesday, March 19, 2014
Monday, March 17, 2014
Today we celebrate my stepmother "Pat" (not her "real" name) and her 88th or 90th birthday.
If you are out there sweetie, I send you all the love you have bestowed upon me.
You know years ago she
Moi? Wish bad on you? You a woman who chose a chocolate wedding cake? However could you think that of me?
Moi? Wish bad on you? You, the woman who used to brag about your sexual prowess with my father in front of me? Why would I wish you imprisoned by the hounds of Hell for making an old man with a bad heart happy in bed?
Moi? Wish bad on you? You, the woman who called my mother a bitch in front of a whole room full of people, including a Rabbi?
Moi? Wish bad on you?
It simply isn't in my genetic make up. I'm not you.
So I will send you the same birthday wish that I have sent you for the past 20+ years:
Pat, may you to live a long, long, long life. I'd like to see you be in the Guinness Book of World Records for being the oldest person alive. Willard SCott telling everyone in the United States that you are 100 seems like a dream to me - and you can reach that dream if you just take care of yourself.
May the sun shine in your eyes everyday. May you have sweet wonderful dreams, knowing that they next day, and then another and another, etc., await you. And don't worry about outliving your money. You don't need money when people love you as you do. That's why there is Medicaid!
And I certainly don't want that precious and precocious mind of yours to get anything that would cloud your vision or understanding. So, may your mind never turn to dust. I want you to enjoy every day - every long, long day.
I want nothing but the very best for you.
Because that's how much you mean to me.
Posted by The Cool Cookie at 9:23 PM
Wednesday, March 12, 2014
I TAKE MY JOB HERE AT THE HALL OF FAME QUITE SERIOUSLY.
I DO MY DAMNEDEST TO VISIT EVERY POST AND
LEAVE A PEARL OR TWO, IF I'M UP TO IT.
IT AIN'T EASY.
Tuesday, March 11, 2014
Monday, March 10, 2014
Sunday, March 9, 2014
Saturday, March 8, 2014
Friday, March 7, 2014
Thursday, March 6, 2014
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
Saturday, March 1, 2014
Remember, beauty operators - if a coiffure is simply unsalvageable, wrap it up and drape some beads on it. You can tell the biggest old battleaxe in the place she looks just like Sophia Loren and she'll leave happy.
(But when you do it, please don't use the shampoo towels - we're running out!)