While I Was Out

When I left for my vacation (didn't I tell you I was going?  Sorry.)  I put all the lines on hold and when I got back this afternoon, there was 1,728 messages.  As I was deleting them (I figured they were all old, what the hell) I ran across one from the emergency room, something about your mother, and then one from the county morgue.  I think it may have something to do with the delivery out in the alley.

I'm taking the rest of the day off; it smells funny up in here.

While You Were Out

Three skanky bitches showed up for the same appointment time while you were out turning tricks in the dumpster.  I told them you had run out to the store for booze and dope and told them to wait in the lounge, but they're already in a catfight back there.

I'm going to take the rest of the afternoon off, the toilet's clogged.

While You Were Out

The International Freaky Boy Porn Star team came by looking for you.  I told them you had gone to the podiatrist to have your toenail fungus checked on.

I'm taking the rest of the afternoon off to go work out with them.

While You Were Out

MJ called to apologize about driving into the salon, she said she was so excited about finishing her gender reassignment, she mistook the spare station for a handicap parking space.  She claims she needs the handicap spot cause she's still sore from all the work they did on her plumbing.  I don't know if she's an innie or an outie now, she wanted to blab about the details so I put her on hold and I'm going to take the rest of the afternoon off.

Also, she sent us an after photo from the clinic.

I'm sure they did the best they could.

While You Were Out

The blind lady you work on on Thursdays stopped by to ask what I thought about her hair and I might have mentioned that it looked like a chicken slept in it.  I tried to calm her down by explaining the management had given her to you cause you were blind too.  I thought she might feel a little solidarity or something, but obviously the bitch has never heard of Sisterhood; she's still screaming at the receptionist desk chair where she thinks I'm sitting.

I'm taking the rest of the afternoon off, all that noise has given me one of my headaches.

While You Were Out

One of your "boyfriends" came by trying to ask where you were and something about tertiary syphilis. I don't know, I wasn't paying attention.

I told him you had been killed in a tragic industrial accident because the management was too cheap to update your equipment.  He's back in your station wailing and crying and making a spectacle of himself, possibly eating the hair on the floor.  I'm going to take the rest of the afternoon off, all the racket's given me a headache.

While You Were Out

The guy who lives in the dumpster out back came in and said his feet were bothering him.  He also said aliens were blocking his prostate nerve signals.  I said I couldn't do anything about that, but that you were the go-to bitch for pedicures, so he's waiting for you back in your station.  He said he'd have to pay you in aluminum cans, I said you'd been paid with worse.  Also, you're going to have to refill that blue stuff you sterilize the combs with, he drank it all.

I'm taking the rest of the afternoon off, I've had to breath through my mouth the whole time he's been here.

mrpeenee,
receptionaire

While You Were Out

The Ribbon Lady came by and asked if she could lick your chair.

She said you would be ok with it.  I told her to go to town, I didn't care.

I'm gonna take the rest of the afternoon off, I got things to do.

mrpeenee,
receptionaire.