Since Margaret took a powder and disappeared - last seen drinking Kreml and vowing to shave "that Bitch Diana Ross' head" - the HHoF has been short staffed.
So we have added Mr. Peenee, seen above, to our staff as Receptionist, Telephone Operator and Cashier. Mr. Peenee's job will fall under the watchful eye of Norma Desmond, who heads our Charm and Cheer Squad. As a full time associate of the HHoF, Mr. Peenee will receive training, a glass bowl for his supply of mints and access to the staff lounge, including all of the access and benefits that comes with the staff lounge.
Mr. Peenee's FIRST Duty has been to review contest submissions and decide who has won our Wig Namer contest. That way, Cookie doesn't have to play favorites.
Look for his posting on the winners in the next couple days.
Welcome aboard honey! Just remember I get first crack at all the new male model walk-ins(it's in my contract)so send them over to my chair.
ReplyDeleteNo, your contract gives you first crack at all the über butch dykes, Sweetie. Maybe you need some readers?
DeleteI didn't know Peenee could count?
ReplyDeleteHe can't. But he can cunt!
DeleteIs that Norma's ear trumpet he's talking into?
ReplyDeleteWord Vwrification: "eekpost"
???
It's more likely that Peenee would talk into Norma's trouser trumpet.
DeleteOh my…Muscato, Norma and Peenee all working the room together?
ReplyDeleteAnd we know what kind of punch those "mints" deliver, don't we?
I foresee more than one Coral Browne-style appointment about to happen... Jx
Deletecharm & cheer?
ReplyDeletei wanna know what shmuck
had that painted on my door?
While you were out, somebody called about something and asked to speak to somebody. I hung up.
ReplyDeleteGet your hand out of the till, Bitch.
ReplyDeleteAnd get your finger unstuck.
DeleteWe're waiting for the big announcement.
If one of you *itches noticed my 2 cankles sticking out from under the gift shop counter, you'd know I never left the job.
DeleteI'm suing mrpeenee, taking all the cash out of his drawers and putting it in Norma's locker, and calling the Po-Po.
All you *itches are on my "Bad List" and don't think I didn't hear all your tongue clucking these past months as I lay wasting away with bleeding eardrums.
And MJ uses the candy counter to step away from her station and release oily farts. Yeah, she is like that.
I got more, but I need a shower at the car wash.
MARGARET, IS THAT REALLY YOU?!
DeleteIt's true. You really did get dumber over time.
DeleteMARGARET: Well, you might TELL us next time you decide to take an extended leave of absence.
DeleteWe thought you were dead but all this time you'd just dozed off in Norma's chair.
Who hasn't passed out in Norma's lap?
Delete