Challenging Client #8: the Perils of Power

I want it long, straight, curly, fuzzy, snaggy, shaggy, ratty, mattyOily, greasy, fleecy, shining, gleaming, streaming, flaxen, waxenKnotted, polka dotted, twisted, beaded, braidedPowdered, flowered and confettied,Bangled, tangled, spangled and spaghettied...

Notre chère cliente, the one and only Mme. Chantal Biya, First Lady of Cameroon, is perhaps the only person in history whose crowning glory represents every single aspect of the subject covered in the title song from Hair.  
Eventually, we had to give her up; the long weekly flights to Yaoundé for her maintenance wash and sets were bad enough, but we simply lost patience with having to explain to her that there just weren't any more techniques we hadn't already tried.  Hers is in fact the world's only straightened, stripped, dyed, permed, ironed, layored, razored, texturized, up, down, marceled, and ruthlessly curled 'do in history.  But she always wants more...