Attention Stylists!

Given the overwhelming number of complaints we've been getting about your appalling and steadily deteriorating choices in salon-wear, an executive decision has been made:  as soon as we can identify a girdle that's up to whipping Peenee into something approaching the presentable, all staff will be required to purchase ($4.95 each; we suggest buying two) and at all times they are on the floor wear the "Buttons and Braids" model shown above.  What could be more practical, yet flattering, than White Rain Dacron?

And yes, Norma, we do expect you to button it all the way up, and don't even think about shortening that skirt.  Finally, let's make this very clear:  only the designated manager on duty will be allowed a Giant Coachman Collar.