It all started last Tuesday....
My long-time client, actress Evelyn Brent, came in for her weekly appointment. She said she wanted an overhaul and that she'd like to have a perm. "No problem", I chirped. She's a great tipper anyway, and I knew this was going to get me some extra Christmas money. So I get her wrapped and under the perm machine and then I go back to the break room for a cigarette.
There sits Donna Lethal staring at the push broom, giggling. So I go, "Hey" and she says, "I have a present for you. Close your eyes and open your mouth." Well she makes this amazing fudge every year so I'm thinking, 'cool'. I close my eyes and open my mouth and she throws this pill so far into the back of my throat, that I immediately swallow it.
"Merry Christmas" she purrs and starts to leave. She gets to the door and turns around, and with a look of complete awe says, "You're really beautiful." She glides around the corner. Just as I was musing about just what substance she was on, the next thing I knew, time and my mind were locked in a race to see which could bend the furthest.
With my next lucid thought, I glanced at the wall clock and realized that 3 hours had passed. Shit-Evelyn! I ran out and got her unhooked from the machine, had her washed, and put her in my chair with her back to the mirror. For the next 45 minutes I put every product in the shop on her hair and worked my ass off and finally got it looking pretty good. She gave me a wad of cash and a kiss on the cheek and left. Whew, I thought, that was a close one!
So Thursday in comes Joan Blondell. She had seen Evelyn the day before and now
she wants a perm. (clearly Evelyn hadn't washed all the product out of her hair yet) "Fab idea doll! Follow me," I said. I took her back, prepped her and got her under the machine and brought her a telephone.
As I started to head for the break room, Donna caught my eye and gave me the high sign. 'Oh no you don't' I thought and decided I'd be better served if I just straightened and restocked the product shelves instead. Just as I was putting out the last New Year's Eve tiara, I heard this blood curdling high pitched screech. It was TJB, one hand on his pearls the other over his heart. I wheeled around to the direction of his stare, and there was Evelyn:
She was completely out of her mind screaming, "You! You've ruined my hair! Ruined my Career!! RUINED MY LIFE!!!"
All of this in front of Joan.
Before I could do anything to stop them, they had both managed to unhook Joan and the ran out of the place.
I turned around and everyone in the salon was staring at me. Except for Donna Lethal who was nowhere to be seen......
