Thursday, July 29, 2010

Tacky Beauty Parlor Names A -Z

We all know there is nothing more important than getting our hair did. More importantly is where? I prefer an establishment with a cute name. No other industry suffers from the ‘Cute Name’ syndrome more so than the hair industry. For instance any salon with an emphasis on alliteration of the letter ‘K’ is an especially good choice, like ‘Krystalz Kutz’ or ‘Klazzy Klipperz’. Z’s are also a good indicator.

In an attempt to kut through the klutter I propose a klassification of Tacky Beauty Parlor Names A -Z.

Please submit your favorites and if possible photographic evidence of the alleged offenders. Operators of the Hair Hall of Fame please post yours under the label heading, 'A -Z - Tacky Beauty Parlor Names'. If you feel more komfortable leave them in the komments section. The list will be never ending and updated on a kontinuous and daily basis. Bonus points will be awarded for any original submissions beginning with the letter ‘K’ and a free Kut’n Kurl from beauty operator Kool Kookie!

So without any further klamoring, klattering or kommotion, The Hair Hall of Fame presents the definitive Kanonical list of Tacky Beauty Parlor Names A -Z.

About An Inch Hair Salon
A Cut Above Castro
A Snip Off the Old Block

Beauty and the Beast Hair Salon

Champagne Nails
Champagne the Locksmith
Charlie's Angels
Cleopatra Salon de’beauté
Crops and Bobbers
Cut the Rug
Cuttin' Up
Curl Up and Dye

Do's and Too's, a salon and tattoo parlor
Dorothy’s Hair Palace

Exotic Weave

Fabiola’s Fashion Hair

Gulf Beach Hair

Hair Hut
Hello Gorgeous!

Izzo’s Hair, the last salon that features the double dutch cut. “Izzo Izzaaa, Izzo Izzu de Mizzo Mizzu, A Zubble Zutch.

Jackay’s de Beauté

Krystalz Kutz
Klazzy Klipperz

Little Critters Salon

Malachite Hair
Miss A'ndera Watt's Beauty Explosion
Myra Nell’s, Hair and Nails

Needa Hair, as in you needa some hair

Oh My Nappy Hair Salon
Ouida’s Salon, Ouida’s is located next door to Needa’s.

Phil's Hair Force
Pershu’s Perfect Kutz

Quiggley’s Cutz

Red Bubble Beauty Salon
Rubie’s Royal Rumor Revolution, Be careful they spread rumors!

Sassy Lady Salon
Sashay Shanté Salon

The Hair Do
The Hair Trap (ew!!!)
The Mane Event
The Rape of the Lock
The Velvet Razor
Turn Your Head and Coif
Twangers Best Little Hairhouse

U Next, A barber shop
Uniqua’s Fierce Hair

Vinnie’s Barber Shop, because if you aint a gay hairdresser you are a barber.

We Be Cuttin' Up
Westside Beauty
William Shapeshear

Xandria’s X Factor Beauty Emporium

Yesterdays Style

Zelda’s Yesterdays Style, You guessed it Zelda is the smoking operator at Yesterdays Style.


  1. My fav salon was called A SNIP OFF THE OLD BLOCK.

  2. Thank you Maduke for playing along. You'll receive a 20% off coupon for a service of your choice at the Hair Hall of Fame. Book it with me and I'll throw in a free orgasmic shampoo. And remember I always work in the nude on Tuesdays.

  3. Somewhere I have a list of amusing names for businesses including hair salons.

    The only one that comes to mind right now is "Curlup and Die".

    I don't want your coupon, thanks very much.

    Last time I received a treatment from you, I broke out in a rash.

  4. @MJ: The Curl Up and Dye has already been listed. Please submit another!

    Also this alleged rash from which you itch of...could it have been caused by your poor personal hygiene or a botched wax job at your own salon?

  5. I loathe Curl Up and Dye - why would I ever want to have my hair done at a place called that. There was one in the West Village in NY called - I kid you not - "Crops and Bobbers."
    There was one in my hometown called "Charlie's Angeles" and another called - ooh - "The Velvet Razor" which sounds downright kinky.

  6. Across the street from the West gate of Andrews Air Force Base in the mid seventies, "Phil's Hair Force".

    On the second floor of a building on Castro in SF, "A Cut Above Castro".

    About a block from where I work, "Tease".

    More to come when I find 'em.....

  7. Oh Jeezus, how could I forget my very favorite of all: on LaBrea here in LA (and recently closed) a black salon, "Oh My Nappy Hair Salon"!

  8. We Be Cuttin' Up is just down the street.

  9. Dear Donna, I like to think of the Curl Up and Dye as the last refuge for the faded beauty, a service really.

    1. Crops and Bobbers
    2. Velvet Razor
    Charlie's Angels, my awesome favorite. (expecially since yer station right next to mine an ever body know I do the Farrah Fawcett do round this place.)

    Imagine answering the phone, “Charlie’s Angels...??? oh yes Miss Lethal we only use Farrah Fawcett Shampoo’s and Conditioner’s here at Charlie’s Angels.”

    Felix: Phil's Hair Force sounds like the kind of place where I want to pick up some tips on Saturday mornings if you know what I mean? Later that night to the Velvet Razor. Then Sunday afternoon tea at Crops and Bobbers. Followed by a night cap at A Cut Above Castro which makes a little naughty thing in my mind. Tuesday afternoon at Tease

    “Hello Tease...???” “Yes I’d like to make an appointment to get my hair teased...

    "Oh My Nappy Hair Salon" Says it all really.

    Jason: We Be Cuttin' Up is just down the street. . Would that be up the street from Oh My Nappy Hair Salon?

    Good work so free Herbal FruiTox™ loohfah Scrubs for everybody(especially MJ)

  10. many years ago, driving back home from florida, i was overnighting somewhere in virginia & browsed thru the yellow pages to see the names of hair salons. i never forgot "the rape of the lock". i just couldn't imagine saying that every time i answered the phone.

  11. Herbal FruiTox™ loohfah Scrubs?

    Is that an actual loohfah or one of those cheap shower scrunchies?

  12. Turn Your Head and Coif?

    The Mane Event

    And my all time favorite, seen on a boarded up business in Atlanta:

    "Miss A'ndera Watt's Beauty Explosion"

    I need to go out and photgraph these signs and post them here.

  13. And oh, the one from Marion Ohio - because everyone thinks they are a commedian:

    "Cuttin' Up"

    And from Toledo:

    "Cut the Rug"

  14. MDP...I knew this had to be one of your posts! We have a salon here called "Do's and Too's". It's a salon and tattoo parlor.

  15. Don't know if you would consider the name of a men's Barber Shop for submission but I just remembered a sign I used to see some years back.

    If anyone goes back to the days of a crowded Saturday morning at a barber shop, then you'll recall the name of this shop being an oft repeated phrase: "U Next".

  16. MDP: "Charlie's Angels" was owned by Charlie, who was having an affair with the woman across the street! All of us kids knew it, as he drove by incessantly. His license plate read CHARLI.

    Also in my hometown was the bizarrely named "Red Bubble Beauty Salon," which sounded like it was from outer space.

  17. Holy crap, I just looked ... and Charlie is STILL THERE.

  18. I recently drove by a place called Hairtini (yum...) and used to pass by a couple doozies--one was called Twangers Best Little Hairhouse, and the other was William Shapeshear.

  19. Ceebs! You just reminded me, there is, or was, a Best Little Hairhouse near here (hair?) but the last time I looked it was gone. William Shapshear! That's fabulous! Do you get 16th century 'dos?

  20. This just reminded me of one in an adjacent town that my friends went to just because of the name and became fans of: "Champagne the Locksmith." His last name was Champagne.

  21. Good work everybody! I have to admit that during college I worked at Gayfer’s Department store as a salon coordinator. I have a touch of dyslexia or more to the point I suffer from spoonerisms. Instead of saying Gayfer’s Hair and Nails I would occasionally say Gayfer’s Nair and Hell Salon!

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  26. Back in the day, in Brighton Beach, Brooklyn, existed a beauty salon which paid tribute to the hometown goddess. It was named, "Hello, Gorgeous!"

    1. I would totally get a Barbra Swing Bob at Hello Gorgeous!

  27. Choppers, Just Teasin' and Hairport Express in Eugene, Oregon.
    Strut, Preen, Golden Touch and Vonnie's Vision of Beauty in Fresno.
    Do City (San Francisco).
    Dazzling Diva's in San Diego.

  28. We had in New York, Coiffures By Mr. D and Edie Adams Cut & Curl