Sunday, December 7, 2014
Queen Beehive, RIP
Ah, the hairburners of Belgium are all in black this weekend, for the world has lost one of the last remaining original devotees of the Big Hair Lifestyle. I've put a little black crepe around the door to the break room to mark the passing of Fabiola, Queen of the Belgians, a woman whose benign but unfocused air of general graciousness I've long attributed to the miasma of AquaNet in which she spent her days.
Fabiola's death leaves Princess Beatrix (ex-Queen) of the Netherlands as possessor of the largest royal hairdo, and in her wake the pickings are few indeed. On a good day the Duchess of Cornwall puts up a good show, but her trademark look is more about feathered volume than true Helmet Hair; Sofia of Spain has had her moments, but the current precariousness of the Spanish throne is leading that family to a regrettable level of quiet good taste. The UK's Queen is a trademark helmet, true, but of disappointingly modest proportions (and, truth to tell, starting as she heads toward 90 to show just a little of the thinning that that so beset her late lamented mother).
No, I fear that unless Dame Fashion reverses course on us, we're up for more boring looks like those of the current Belgian and Spanish queens, or even worse the yawn-inducing longer hair favored by the Duchess of Cambridge and the various Scandinavian crown princesses.
All the more reason to celebrate the life and example of Fabiola, a genuine Royal Hair Hopper. In her honor, I'm offering half-off on any 'do with a final circumference of more than three feet, this week only.