MJ is back, but what of Margaret?

Come back Margaret!  Our Kreml needs restocking!

An announcement about staffing and the contest

Since Margaret took a powder and disappeared - last seen drinking Kreml and vowing to shave "that Bitch Diana Ross' head" -  the HHoF has been short staffed.

So we have added Mr. Peenee, seen above, to our staff as Receptionist, Telephone Operator and Cashier.  Mr. Peenee's job will fall under the watchful eye of Norma Desmond, who heads our Charm and Cheer Squad.  As a full time associate of the HHoF, Mr. Peenee will receive training, a glass bowl for his supply of mints and access to the staff lounge, including all of the access and benefits that comes with the staff lounge.

Mr. Peenee's FIRST Duty has been to review contest submissions and decide who has won our Wig Namer contest.  That way, Cookie doesn't have to play favorites.

Look for his posting on the winners in the next couple days.

Mr. Otis Regrets...

Speaking of which, has anyone seen Margaret lately?

These wigs need names so Margaret can sell them

Margaret in the gift shop feels that these wigs aren't selling because they lack "glamour names".  Please submit your names (noting "Style A - ", Style B - ", etc. for each) wig.

Found in the waiting room.

I found this in the magazine pile.

And just WHAT is this?

A Suzy Homemaker Hair Dryer?  A grooming brush? Little Jason on the box doing his hair?

Well, is it, Norma?

Norma Desmond was discovered to be moonlighting and selling this behind our backs.  After reviewing the facts, such as they are, salon management has agreed that Norma can continue selling it as Margaret refuses to hawk them for him.

Meanwhile in the dryer wing

Margaret is taking orders and serving cocktails.

Now in the HHoF giftshop: MERKIN MANIA

With MJ away, we thought it was time for some merkins, lest anyone out there feel as if they were about to go through merkin withdrawal.

We found this old ad online that reads:

"If wearing a bikini is your thing, THE PUBIC HAIR WIG will add sensual pleasure to the on-looker and yourself.  Worn on nude beaches, it's even more exciting!  At last you can shave your privates without anyone knowing.  THE PUBIC HAIR WIG is a real turn-on as it can be worn above the hairy areas or as a cover-up.  Hand made with invisible stick on tape only $9.95.  Send cash, check or money order with hair sample for a perfect match to: MAN HAIR..."

Alas, no complete address. Still, there's no mistaking, this is a manly product.

We also found this for the ladies:

"Botched Brazilian? Misbehaved shave? Unveiled va-jay-jay?"

Kitty Carpet, available online, advertises itself at the "reusable downstairs toupee".  Our sample is shown in the ever popular "straw" coloring.

Ask Margaret in our gift shop about our full line of merkins.  Wednesday's blue-rinse merkins are half-off*!

*The pile is not quite as thickly thatched. 

Perma-Lacque Hairspray

See Margaret in the HHoF Gift Shop for a can.

So what are you giving yourself for Christmas?

Maybe a new coat and hat?  See Lucite Box for ideas customized for you. 

A new party game?  Available at the HHoF Gift Shop; see Margaret for details and a demonstration.

Work on your balance and posture?  See Thombeau, please.

Fine Art?  Ayem8t has many fine suggestions. 

Some Fried Chicken?  See Jason for details. 

A Deluxe Lady Norelco with Beauty Tools?   MJ would be happy to assist you. 

Maybe a new look for that tired goatee?  Please see Muscato for design consultations. 

Overcome your social awkwardness?  IlDuce can help you become more confident and approachable.  

Expand your horizons through reading? See Donna Lethal, she handles all subscriptions.

Kick into Show Business?  Felix can show you the ropes. 

Or perhaps a home pedicure?   See Norma for a Demonstration.  She's soaking in it. 

Whatever you decide, go ahead, you're worth it. 

Merry Christmas, Darlings!

Stop by the Gift Shop Today

and wish Margaret a Happy Birthday! 

If you're nice to her, she just might let you touch her balls.

Now playing in the HHoF Lobby

Margaret has plenty-o-pomade in the HHoF Gift Shoppe. 

Hold onto your hats...

An important introduction will be made at 9pm (EDT) tonight.  A new stylist has joined the HHoF! (And Margaret has a lovely selection of Cod Pieces that work well as hats in our gift shop!)

What's snood with you?

See Margaret in The Hair Hall of Fame gift shop for all your snood needs.

Customers Agree: The Importance of Being Erect

Remember: True beauty comes from within. 

Customers at the Hair Hall of Fame agree that Margaret's work in the Posture and Deportment Department on "How to Be Erect" is the "Bee's Knee's".  Why, any day that Margaret is teaching, it's dress up day.

And see how Peenee is so eager to please? Leading the charge of the lite brigade of beauties gives Peenee confidence and couth!  Oh, you high stepping kid!

Quick - who let Margaret out?

She was seen at WalMart trying to score some Kreml!

Welcome Back, Margaret

We’ve swept together this hair mat to welcome you back to the salon…

[via]

Not that you were ever REALLY gone.

Let’s hear the story from our client Margaret herself…

"Okay, which one of you accidentally forgot to check on me 3 weeks ago while I was waiting for my below-the-knee waxing in THHoF "overflow" closet? Ironic timing to have your annual shipment of Barbasol delivered, and stacked up, against the door. Thankfully, your restaurant pilfering of, ketchup, duck and mustard sauce packets, was enough to keep me alive until your night cleaning crew opened the door to empty dirty water buckets into my face, rousing me out of a heat lamp coma. I was, during those weeks, however, able to hear everything going on in THHoF salon, including, "Seniors' Day With REAL SENIORS Day", "Let's Be Glad Margaret's Not Here Day", "Let's Have A Party Without Margaret Running Us Over With Cordoba Day", "We Can Finally Toss All the Kreml Day" and, "Hooray We Are Finally Free Day", and the best, "Why Cookie and Donna Will Not Explain Why Cordoba Has Been Parked in Front of THHoF for 3 Weeks Piling Up Ticket After Ticket Day."

Oh, you might need a plumber to clear your floor drain.

Wally, "I'm comin' home!"


Scene of the crime...

[via]

30-Day Guarantee

WONDERFUL NEW NON-OXIDIZING COLOR LOTION GIVES YOUR HAIR SHIMMERING BEAUTY FOR 30 DAYS!

[via]

Our client Margaret visits us once a month for her touch-up and you can too!

Holy Moley

[via]

We thought Margaret was on the upswing from her Kreml-related accident but it appears that the Kolestral had unpleasant side effects.

Margaret has developed a form of naevus pilosus, a condition in which hair grows atop a mole.