Monday, March 17, 2014

Happy birthday, dear step mother, dearest

Today we celebrate my stepmother "Pat" (not her "real" name) and her 88th or 90th birthday.

If you are out there sweetie, I send you all the love you have bestowed upon me.

You know years ago she snarled said "You wish I were dead" at me and I was taken aback.

Moi?  Wish bad on you?  You a woman who chose a chocolate wedding cake? However could you think that of me?

Moi?  Wish bad on you? You, the woman who used to brag about your sexual prowess with my father in front of me?  Why would I wish you imprisoned by the hounds of Hell for making an old man with a bad heart happy in bed?

Moi?  Wish bad on you? You, the woman who called my mother a bitch in front of a whole room full of people, including a Rabbi?

Moi?  Wish bad on you?


It simply isn't in my genetic make up.   I'm not you.

So I will send you the same birthday wish that I have sent you for the past 20+ years:

Pat, may you to live a long, long, long life.  I'd like to see you be in the Guinness Book of World Records for being the oldest person alive.  Willard SCott telling everyone in the United States that you are 100 seems like a dream to me - and you can reach that dream if you just take care of yourself.

May the sun shine in your eyes everyday.  May you have sweet wonderful dreams, knowing that they next day, and then another and another, etc., await you.  And don't worry about outliving your money.  You don't need money when people love you as you do.  That's why there is Medicaid!

And I certainly don't want that precious and precocious mind of yours to get anything that would cloud your vision or understanding. So, may your mind never turn to dust.  I want you to enjoy every day - every long, long day.

I want nothing but the very best for you.

And why?

Because that's how much you mean to me.


  1. Has anyone ever told you that you are beautiful when you are venomous?

  2. Hell hath no fury like a queen scorned... Jx

  3. glad to see this hasn't festered.

  4. The lady in that picture seems to have an infusion already attached.
    Gin ?