Well I LIKE to hold the pins -- it makes me feel important!
Answer to No. 1 is NO! If your appointment is 10AM, that means you need to arrive at 9:50, not twenty after ten. And leave your child at HOME.
#3. Grovel.Preferably on your knees.
Thankfully, I always refer to myself as Mrs. John Jones.
Pardon me if I still call you Shirley.
I've always smoked crack while doing manicures - it helps cover the hideous acetone smell.